Didn't expect myself to return back here writing.. I guess this tiny space here has successfully been hidden since everyone thought i only have tumblr. Life hasn't change much during my absence. It pretty much still sucks. I had three sessions of mind-fucking last night alone on the grounds of powerhouse. It drained all of me. My energy, my thoughts, my emotions, everything. Didn't even get a chance to step into the dancefloor after missing from that place for so long.. And the weather decided to further dampen my mood by drizzling throughout the night.

It wasn't the first time i had to deal with girls coming up to me telling me stories. But what surprised me is that i had to get so affected i teared outside the smoking corner in front of every-fucking-one. Then, everything turned drama mama and the rest is history. I can't reveal much but what Bel said to me towards the end of the night definitely made an impact because she is the only one that supports me to hold on..

WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU? I'VE MADE A PACT WITH BBY AND I'M GONNA HOUNOR IT FUCK IT ALL. NEVER BELIEVED IN AFTERLIFE BUT ANYWAY HOPE YOU BURN IN HELL.

I guess last night was the worst day of my life so far. I wouldn't sleep at all, tossing and turning all night. I don't know what's occupying my mind. Gave phuture a miss even thou i was looking forward for so long. So i had to search everywhere for sleeping pills so glad i found the one and only one, down it straight away and coma till 11am this morning. Tried sleeping again in the morning but to no avail. Had no choice, open up the fridge and found a can of Guinness plus a few sticks of fags so yeah... I managed to continue sleeping till 3 and dreamt about you twice. But that's not enough, i don't wanna wake up feeling empty. What should i do now?? Continue sleeping or get something to fill my stomach which was left empty since ytd. Time needs to pass faster... I want a speedy recovery. And, i hope i'll get wasted tonight. Too much pain i am suffering. I need to temporary get rid of them.

Idk which is funnier - me putting up a strong front yet losing my sleep over you or you out partying having fun even thou you said you're sad.

Pretty much the last memories of you.

Hello everyone............ I'm back. Went to check out my nuffnang since the cheque is taking forever to arrive and i realised my analytic is dropping like crazy. Only 2 visit for one whole day?! haha but doesn't matter i don't really update this space anymore. Super lazy to even on my laptop nowadays, it's like rotting its way in the study room since 6 months ago???? Omg this is insane... I used to spent like what 5 hours on average on my lappy in the past.

Anyway, i'm really really mega bored now. Can't figure out how to explain it exactly yknow just freaking pissed off with everything. Super hungry since i was awake 3 hours ago and mummy had to return home without my cookies!!!! Feelin' for doublecheese burger but macs is soooooo far..... Delivery for one 2bux burger is retarded? My life sucks nowadays. You will never wanna hear my story. Please just let me die leh...... Will i go to hell??

I just discovered a new pimple on my face!!!!!!!!!! My complexion needs to maintain...... Dark circles like freeflow. Why like that? I'm no longer a party animal already why are my dark circles still following me everywhere i go.... Sian half why am i so fugly????!?!?!?! And my hair i need to do something about it i wanna go trim it but no moneyyyyyy. So freaking lazy nowadays i even skipped my facial appointment oh my god i hope i'll be back on track after the holidays. Need to start working hard for once for my last sem in np :(

Hahahaha ok bye. I'm going back to tumblr :D

Biggest blue black i ever had

Love the way you lie

Woke up feeling slightly uneasy. I logged into fb as usual and saw something i shouldn't be seeing. There it goes again... I'm trying so hard to not get bothered by all these but to no avail. Days by days i kept lying to myself i thought i'll be able to see the sunlight one day but as the days dragged by the faith i had is slowly fading away. I hate how i have to lie to myself in order to make me feel better each day. The fags not longer works for me. The last time i felt i was truly happy? When was it? I can't even recall. I've started to stop telling people about my problems, my feelings probably because nothing's gonna change. I'll only be whining over the same shitz over and over. What's the point??? The simple assurance i need wasn't given. All i had was....... idk. Nothing. Hate to be stuck in this. My heart just sank alittle when i realised the smile on your face wasn't for me. Why did i bother so hard when i know i'll get nothing after all these. Why? I don't even know why. The moment i see your face, all the pain i experienced will be gone magically. That's how addictive you are.


Sorry this is yet again another emotional post.

I'm afraid of many things. Most of all, I'm afraid that you'll find someone 10x better than me and forgets all about me.

Rainy Monday

Hi, i'm left with approximately 3 more hours to go before i land my foot, for the first time after 5 months, in np. Kinda nervous as i felt my palm sweating for the 101th time. My tongue is still swelling and my stomach is growling.. Ppt half-way done and notes yet to be written. Honestly speaking i'm still half awake partly due to the weather outside my window. I need to stay concentrated for the next 3 hours please just let me stay focused.

I'm satisfied with whatever i have now. It may not be the best choice around for me but that's what i've chosen and i'm not going to let it slip off anymore. The doubts i have in me are not exactly at the all time low. That makes it illogical for me to start believing what i'm seeing. But whatever, Taurus is a stubborn bitch.

I'm not always down and sad. Don't label me as an emo child. I don't seek attentions from strangers I don't need it. I just don't write out the happy moments in my life because I believe once I had too much of it, it'll be gone in no time. Too much experience over such things I'm losing faith in what used to define happiness. I've tried to be strong and I'm proud I didn't shed tears. But ironically, keeping emotions inside of you isn't doing yourself any good either. I'm starting to get used to the heartaching pain I experienced every morning when I get out of my bed, the sleepless nights I spent my thoughts with. I lost my appetite, I lost my smile, I lost my glow but most important, I lost you. I'm glad you came honest with me but the fucking heartaching doesn't go away.. I can't continue any longer the tears in my eyes are gonna fall any moment I need to calm myself down. The office isn't the best place to let your emotions get the better of you.

Few weeks ago...

Rise and shine earthlings! I just had my 8 hours of sleep but not feeling very hype up in fact I'm still drained from last night. Every weekend without fail it would be phuture on Friday night and powerhouse on Saturday. Afterwhich the whole of Sunday will be wasted because I'll probably wake up in the late afternoon or even in the evening. I don't feel my weekends like weekends anymore since I'll be more drained out then working during the weekdays.

This weekend is no difference. Friday night was spent over at phuture with a little twist. Most of us stayed outside instead of dancing in the dancefloor. It was quite a mess because so much things happened I have no idea what took place because I was lying on the ground too tired from work. But I actually like it this way. Staying away from the dancefloor wasn't a bad idea right? We can have little talks without having to raise your voice. Listen to music without blasting it into your ear drums. Sit on the floor when your feets gets sore. Spam drinks/fags/food whenever. But then again I still hate alcohol. Hate is a strong word. And yes, I hate it. That's why I only had a cup last night and that was to have a toast with the birthday boy.

The coming weekend will be of no difference I predict. Let's just hope I'm wrong just like how I always take the wrong teams eg. B-R-A-Z-I-L.

Sup Yaw

Dead city over here. Nothing much to share with you guyz. I assume there are still a few souls quite interested in my life... Anw I can't bare to let it die so a lil update.

Phuture on a Friday night:

Wy was dead drunk credits to Kori. Good job. We spent hours outside Zouk staring at her as she nua all the way... Tried all means to wake her up but to no avail so we decided to raise the white flag and sent her back to her kampong. Thanks uh Frederick. I continued parteying till zouk ends which is 5am after which Ba Ku Teh for brekkie at Mohammed Sultan. Spent hours again waiting for cab. But no, all the cabs decided to mia altogether! Yay. Ended up we gotta call for cabs and home sweet home at 730am. Can what.

Timbre for Kansie's 20th:

Skipped work for a day because i got no feel to drag myself to the office on that particular day. Met up with Bernice & Ranald at np after getting my mc which left me 16bux poorer. Head over to Ranald's house to sleep HAHAHAHA a bit weird but his bed is so comfy!! ^^ then to Timbre for kansie's birthday. Left home early because i gotta work the next day. Sianzzz

Random night at ph:

The most heartbreaking night ever.

Another random night over at ph:

Shelly's back:

Shelly back in sg for a vacation. Had a mini catch up session cum birthday celebration. 2 in 1 combo pack alongside with Celine. She's so cute just like a grown up version of Shelly. We had fun and great deal of laughter over dinner at Marche and sheesha at Nabin's. But i fell asleep for 10 mins in Nabin's because i cannot tahan any longer after which the rest of the time i stone on the floor trying hard to stay awake. Yawn. See you soon Shelly & Celine :)

Ermm, ladies night:

Ladies night at Phuture. Last min decision to join Zak & co over at phuture for pre-birthday celebration for Kansie. I wished her and gave her a hug the moment i saw her and off i went to join Kit's clique for awhile. When i came back she was lying on the cold hard floor, head on Beverly's lap talking loudly to everyone. She is sober. Yeah like totally. Back home at 3am because i'm a loser who has work the next day. I skipped it thou. Blah.

Dark choco flown over from Swiss with love from Shelly ^^ yum yum.

MISERABLE
MORNINGS.
NEVERENDING
NIGHTS.

Why can't i get over it? I mean this isn't the first time i'm faced with such a situation. People say you learn from experience. I say i just don't learn my lesson. My world turned 180 degree around. Work has becoming something i looked forward to and friends? One by one i'm getting trouble with. June isn't treating me right and please take a look at the date! It's only the start of the month. I need a break from all these shitz. And i don't mean getting wasted and spent my whole night outside crying my lungs out. Yet, you have zero idea you are the cause. Or maybe you are aware... Anyway, i got pwned right from the start. Well, what else can i expect? Hnd ftw what. Welcome to heartbreak

Day 4 of 4.

Where is the good in goodbye?

I'm not updating because my life is a bore. It's all about work - report - eat - sleep - amk. No interesting photos, no story to tell. Ok, maybe just one.

I FELL DOWN THE SLOPE TWICE THIS MORNING. TWO FUCKING TIMES!!

IN FRONT OF EVERYONE WHO WAS WAITING FOR THEIR COMPANY BUS AT 7.10AM. NOTE: MORNING RUSH. EMBARRASSMENT X2.

Hahahahahahaha. I was actually laughing inside me. How much more clumsier can i get. I even tore my leggings. What is wrong w smrt man. They blocked the goddamn stairs that's why i have no choice but to walk down the slopes and in the end fell hard on my knees onto the pavement. I had to train back home with my torn leggings filled with mud. Damn. So i went to the doctor's and she injected me. Orgasm much. No joke. The pain was ........ indescribable. I offically hate her although you gave me tons of bandage and another 2 days mc. Oh ya, i was on mc for two days already. Hehehehehe. I shall throw away that pair of Cotton on shoes later. She deserves to be in the bin for sure!!

kthxbye.

The worst feeling isn’t being lonely but forgotten by someone you can’t forget.

- I miss you.

Truly Asia

Road Trip I

I can feel my throat drying, my forehead burning and my nose totally blocked. Woah hot & cold combo! But no, I c.a.n.n.o.t afford to succumb to the evil bacterias yet. I need to finish up my interim report by this week or else i will have to cut my wrist and die of excessive bleeding. Or in a simpler form - commit suicide. It's funny how just a few weeks back i pray and pray i'd fall sick as that i can get an mc and skip work for a day or two. Ironic. However, one thing remains and i'm almost positive it will never ever change. I h8 working! Somebody, Fuck this shit!