Woke up feeling slightly uneasy. I logged into fb as usual and saw something i shouldn't be seeing. There it goes again... I'm trying so hard to not get bothered by all these but to no avail. Days by days i kept lying to myself i thought i'll be able to see the sunlight one day but as the days dragged by the faith i had is slowly fading away. I hate how i have to lie to myself in order to make me feel better each day. The fags not longer works for me. The last time i felt i was truly happy? When was it? I can't even recall. I've started to stop telling people about my problems, my feelings probably because nothing's gonna change. I'll only be whining over the same shitz over and over. What's the point??? The simple assurance i need wasn't given. All i had was....... idk. Nothing. Hate to be stuck in this. My heart just sank alittle when i realised the smile on your face wasn't for me. Why did i bother so hard when i know i'll get nothing after all these. Why? I don't even know why. The moment i see your face, all the pain i experienced will be gone magically. That's how addictive you are.
Sorry this is yet again another emotional post.
Monday, August 30, 2010
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